hi there...it's quite early in the morning (for me) and i'm waiting for 10.30 1m to come..and go to sch...i had a really bad night yesterday which i had to search for my chem paper work...freakkkkkk!!!i had made it during the weekend i had to start all over again...only in an hour...it made me sick...and again the mime performance is juz around the corner...TODAY!!!! i dunno whether i have practised enough...but i' tried my bst for it...hope it wont be awful...huhhh stp laughing like hell when i'm in front of ppl...

anddddddd....tml is friday which suppose to be a happy day coz it's weekend...butttttt nooooooot really..coz we have to study for the damn exam...esp lite...i hate lite now...i enjoyed studying it but not for exam please....oh my goshh...

i am not quite productive these days...im getting lazier and lazier...i dun touch a single book these days..and i plan to continue it till the end of term 1 hhahahahahahhaa...wat a poor me...

zen said i'm a bit saiko yesterday...maybe yeah...maybe not...i dunno wat happened to me yesterday...hahahaha...juz feel like it...maybe i'm zenikofied yesterday hahahahaha...

okokok think it's the time to go to sch...byebyebyebyebeybeye

uhhh..it's been a tiring day..i planned to study chem togethr with feli, but in the end, we juz chatterd around and cooked together...they juz left and i took a bath a few mins ago...wondering wat to do...(dilemma between chem or drama orrrr chatting).i decided to finish my Nomenclature today but i suppose there isn't enough time to...sigh...why am i so lazy these days....gosh...

exam is coming soon, i havent even touched the books...in lit lec today, Mike(my lecturer) explained the format of the exam and i almost died while listening to him...it's damn difficult to do he lit essay...oh gosh and the exam is juz around the corner...wat should i do man???

a friend of mine is facing a LOVE prob today and i becoma the dr.love while zen is the kepo one...hahahahha....*sorry* but yeahh, i think that's really hard to forget sumone but in fact it can be dan if u want to...i have the same experience before...and i successfully moved on...CHEW YEAH!!!hahahahaha

i am really sleepy now and i have to go now...freak...bye nite

hi thereeeeeeee... huh i hate monday...coz i have to wake up really early and go to sch........suckz mannnn!!!today i cooked stir fry and it's nice...........omg...i'm good at cooking now....yeahhh!!!heuheuehuehue....i plan to go for gym but kinda lazy now..Omygosh...i'm getting rounder and fatter....huhhhhhhhhhhh....sick man.........i have to work out of this man...hmm but laziness is flying above my head now...soooooo wat shuld i do??? go? not go?go ? not go????

chem is damn difficult now...i mean i dun understannnnndd...howwww le???hikz hikz hikzzzzzzzzzzz..................

hm.....gw benci banget ama kata BACK OUT...gw benci banget ama orang yang uda kasi chance tapi malah pegi begitu gw dateng...i really hate it...lo tau ga si perasaan nya gmana????itu tu lebih dari sakit...and lebi parah dr diduain...and lebi sakit dr pada disuntik (gw takut disuntik) ....lo tau ga...orang yang nglakuin itu BIASANYA mereka ga yakin ama diri sendiri tapi uda brani nglakuin sumthinkk...gila...kita bukan barang yang isa dibuang abis puas diliatin ato dimainin...ini pake perasaan ok??bukn pake otak...ok maybe some ppl ga mikir pake ati...tapi gw iya ok???gw iya banget ok??? maybe lo bilang gw egois cuma mikirin perasaan diri ndiri...but coba elo yang digituin??coba aja...lo uda d baek2 in tiba2 waktu lo uda mulai ngrasa...dia ilang dr muka lo...itu namanya tanggung jawab ya???omg...i hate it man...

gw pengen banget isa mikir pake otak and ga pake hati...gw pengen banget nglupain ini smua...gw pengen banget...tapi napa...tip kali mau lupa...smua itu dateng lage...keadaan yang sama slalu dtg lage...kenapa si...apa ini smua karma buat gw???apa ini smua emang uda pantes gw dapetin???

oh...maybe emang nasib gw uda kaya gini...mungkin emang gw harus hadepin ini smua...ok la...disaat gw uda mulai percaya...lo buat gw ga percaya lage ama dunia...hah...emang lah...kayanya ini fate gw banget...ya uda kalo emang kaya gt maunya...gw bakal jalanin...i hope ini yang trakir aja...

yuhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...today is the happiest day of the week...i was skipping the BIO class tday...and went to the bridge to see the fireworks...wow...it's damn nice man.........at least, it can redeem my anger...hehehe...

ok, today was going on pretty good...my mood getting better today...i'm crazy as usual and have really fun today...hehehe...there was something that destroy all my mood but i can think positively rite now...zen is right...he said that 'sabar itu perlu'...and that's really true...i have to learn a lot from him, i suppose...hehehehe....but not the craziness of him...hehehehhe.......

today, i learnt about who is really my friend and who is not...i also 'moved' by zara's words...Karma...it's really a big word...actually, i'm scared to face it when i comes to me...but what can i do....i don't blame zara...or anyone...it's all my faults...i can think positively rite now...and i'm happier...

SELFISH...everyone has it,,,but it depends when they use it...it's really irritating when seeing someone who cant think of anyone else...but...i said to myself...will i do the same thing if i were her???hmm..maybe yes maybe not...and of course, i cant blame her as well...everyone has different personality and we have to respect it...i'm not perfect and have lots of mistakes as well...hmmmmmmmm....i think i learnt a lot today....what a wonderful day!!!

i should have redeemed my anger by now...and it takes time maybe...hehehehe....yeah...and i wanna say thanks to everyone..........WITHOUT exception...who makes today a very awesome day and who makes me sad today....everyone...thanksssssssssss!!!!hueheuheuheuehue

i gotta go now...it;s late and i wanna take a bath....bye ...

hm hm hm...i just finished chatting with Zara and Calvin...and all they said is TRUE...now calvin and i are having a 'let's-forget-for-a-while' day...i hope it works...tml i must wake up with a HUGE smile...hehehe...

i haven;t even touched any academic books today and really dun feel like it..hehe...
well....hey!!do you feel that i'm really depressed recently??? i feel it too..but i can;t do anything abt it, can i?? zan said that if u keep thinking abt it, you will fall deeper into it...i try my best to forget it and now i;m doing it...

and........................forgot to say...today is MOM's bday...hepi birthday mom....................i wish i am there...in indonesia...and give you a kiss today...hehe...well...wish u all the best and keep smiling mom...i LOVE YOU so much...suddenly, i miss my fam again...it happens almost everynight...hehe...

recently, i like the 'someone's watching over me' song...by hillary duff...it seems so similar to my situation at the moment..and it can give me power to face the truth,...if it is true...hehe...i hate the weather here..it makes my skin go drier..huh...have to put more lotion...

ok then, i really have to stop here...i wanna do my EAP hw..ciao...

MOTTO..smiling is good

hm..........................

i thought today was the happiest day of this week...but i dun think so...

i juzt went back from having dinner...the dinner was nice and now i'm fulled...i decided to take a bath but when i saw this laptop...i feel like typing sum words for my blog today...i think i've been addicted to it...

well, today's going on pretty good..i listened to almost all the subjects that i went to today. Firstly, i listened really carefully during LITERATURE LECTURE...omg...isn't that amazing??hehe...Literature is quite interesting now..hehehe...and i went to HOI lec...and as usual, zara n me having A BIG CHAT tday...hehehe...we never listened to it anyway...

i was tired this morning...and then felt better after lunch and now, i'm sitting here in front of my desk with a really JUTEK face...huh...i think i'm just giving up everything...i hope i can do that...sigh...do you think my perdiction isa true??i hope it's not, of coz...but i can;t help it when it happens...IF IT HAPPENS...that's the correct sentence, i suppose...hehe...

lots of ppl say 'yeah'...but i feel 'no' sumtimes...and when it comes to my own prediction...i said YES...but i dunoooooooooooooooooooo....i just cant face it man...i dun dare to think abt it now...*sigh*

goshhhhhhhh...sumbody can help me to give it up????plizzzzzzzzzzz...i can't stand this feeling anymore...it's exhausting man...

i have EAP hw today...and fortunately, it's the simplest one...i wish sch will be like this foreva..huk huk huk......

it's 8.31 pm now...i am goin to take a bath now...byebyebye...

Feeling like Shit (ie. Madesu)

it's 7.41 pm now...i haven't taken bath till now and i dun think i'm going too. I REALLY FEEL LIKE SHIT NOW. dun ask me why!!! zara said i used too much of my 'energy' during weekend..first, choosing the goods when we went shopping...I think she's a bit 'error' now..coz she couldn't stop laughing today...so did Zen...why everyone is so happy today but not me?? i miss happiness...

i went to HOI class today..and it was the only class that i went to today...BUT i have to be in one group with SUMONE i hate...jijayyyy bajaj grobaggggg siomayyyyyyy....so irritating...lots of works to do this week.hope i can cope with it...my brain seems to go off soon...and so does my body...i dunno why...

Do you think that it must be related to ****? *sigh* hope not...it's really tiring when we have to face the same prob twice in this life...and i do hope i never face it forever..not even once...
i miss Teman and Selvi...they are really great friends...i miss my fam as well...in fact, living alone is dreadful...*sigh* hope to meet sum1 who can change my life...but with this condition, i dun think i can trust somebodyelse...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............................
ok FINE...not writing anymore...BYE

wat the hell man...this morning was like shit to me. that was bcoz pf me, taking a bath at night (abt midnight) as yesterday was really damn hot...i really regretted it. i couldn't go to sch today. i missed bio tute class...omg...Mika said there was a project which required us to make a CELL...wat the hell is thisssssss....a cell????oh nooo....n the worst is that i dun even know who is my partner..mika said that HE is an indonesian guy as well. but i can't remember other indonesian guy in bio tute class...

now, my head is spinning around like hell....and i put extra effort to type this as i duno who else i can talk to...zara is in class now and so are my other friends...i have taken some medicine but why the hell my head is still spinning around????????????????i vomitted twice this morning....oh gosh...do i need to see doctor??? i dun wannnnnnnnnnttt.... i hate seeing doctor....huh....

well, i am in melbourne now, living at college square at lygon st...near cemetery as well... that makes me freaking out...huh i dunno wat happen to me lately...i am moody everyday and feeling really tired...can someone tell me why????

hmm...wat abt melb??? i try my best to enjoy it...and i AM successful...a bil maybe...lots of friends here...and i have zara...hehehe...she's my best of best friend...she can change my being-shit feeling to excitement...hehehe...and...the shops here are nice..but expensive as well...i Am moving on now...not much time to think abt *** maybe...that's great i think...coz i really hate the feeling of being DAMN FOOL...hope i can totally get rid of *** out my mind..that will make my life easier...

i'm a bit sensitive recently ( as if this is the first time)...i dunno why...i might be too tired coz it has been long time since i finished my O's...so my brain has stopped 'working' for a while...now, it's time to work really hard to get into the Melb Uni...and get 87% or higher...i pray hard for it...but i think my mood doesn't help me...i AM lazier than b4...chem is suck here...i think it's the teacher's prob...i can understand it by reading it myself..so i dun need to go to the lecture...hehehhe...my fren said that my tute teacher(in chem) is really GENIUS..he made 16 steps to describe molecules...CHEW YEAH...hehehe that's great...i like to see GENIUS or clever people...but not a NERD man...i hate it...esp the KIASU ones...hhehhehe...

it's enough for the first post, i think...

hope: get rid from this headache...